Twenty-one days into 2022, feels kinda stretched for me.

Been wrestling with my emotions lately. Quite uncertain how to keep myself going for you.

Yes, it’s almost like giving up and getting back a stable income so that I don’t have to over worry. Yet, this experience has taught me to be a cheerful giver! I know how much of a struggle to give especially when you don’t feel like you own enough.

A lot of time, we only give when we feel we are equipped to. When we have an extra change, then we give it to the ones in need, or maybe for many church-goers, we give to God after distributing all our expenses to our wants and needs.

In Matthew 19:16-22, a young rich man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

This young man had great possessions but he was sorrowful. Ain’t it saying, there ought to be a truer meaning to life than having all the riches on earth. Jesus did suggest that he will have treasures in heaven. Why did he walk away from it?

Here’s what I think, why is it SO HARD TO GIVE and how I have overcome it (little by little):

1. The young man is young, he refers that there is still time.

   Technically yes, if youth is what you have it is also what wasted time could look like. Well, I wish I knew how to start slowlivecreate ten years earlier. But God knows better. He knows what is needed to prep me up for such a time. He knew I had to garner all the experiences before I can be in this room of surrender - when time is no longer mine, I find it easier to show up for others.

2. The young man did not see heaven. He could not see eternal life as a priority.

   This is hard to fathom unless you believe in heaven, knowing that your soul has a second home after earth. And the saying goes, you cannot bring any wealth to hell cos it will all burn.

3. Even with great possessions, the young man was sorrowful because he had no purpose with God’s kingdom.

   I reflect on how happy I am to be able to paint, and talk to strangers. Investing what I can to help others see heaven; experience the same love I have received. Now, I pray that I can keep doing this so that one more soul can be saved.

By turning my focus to heaven, I could release the anxiety of not having enough. It’s amazing when I pray in heavenly tongues and allow God to take control of my finances, and He provides me in secret. I am just grateful to know I will never lack anything as long as I keep myself in the shelter of this good Father.

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” \ Matthew‬ ‭6:26-27‬ ‭NIV‬‬